Monday, February 15, 2010

John Mayer is a white supremacist

Read about John Mayer's penis being a white supremacist here.

Monday, February 8, 2010

TMH Movie Award winners

And The Morning Hangover Movie Award winners are:

Action Movie: Taken

Scary Movie: Fourth Kind

Comedy Movie: The Hangover

Break Up Movie: Brothers

Date Movie: The Proposal

Sci-Fi Movie: Avatar

Gay Movie: Bruno

Whipped-bitch Movie of the Year: New Moon

Epic Failure: Observe and Report

TMH Movie of the Year: Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

Friday, February 5, 2010

Meet our new co-host Krysten Cabell

Krysten Cabell was born and raised on the wonderful planet Earth. With a very nomadic family a hometown life isn’t something she is familiar with, but traveling around most of the world for the past 21 has more than made up for it. She is one of the hottest, die-hard Star Wars fans you will meet. And one of the whitest, rhythmless Bolivians you will come across. Her hobbies include dancing (the classical not exotic kind) and musical theater. When not on a stage she can be found shamelessly watching trashy, dirty reality television while eating a #2 from Mickey D’s with extra pickles, diet coke and three packets of sweet and sour sauce.

Top-10 things to say to your girlfriend/wife when tells you she’s pregnant

Top-10 things to say to your girlfriend/wife when tells you she’s pregnant:

10. What do you mean by pregnant?
 
9. Do I know you?
 
8. What’s the cheapest plane ticket out of town?
 
7. Sweet, I’ve always wanted to be a deadbeat dad.
 
6. What do you mean the condom broke? I only used it twice.

5. I know of a great clinic.
 
4. Great! I’ve always wanted to punch you in the stomach.

 3. Piss off.  

2. Let’s donate it to Stem-cell research.
 
1. Got a coat hanger?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Morning Hangover Movie Award nominations

The Morning Hangover has announced its Movie Award nominations for 2009. Screw what the Academy Awards tell you are the best movies of 2009, they're paid off anyway. We'll give you the best movies and what should really win!

Tune in to Monday's, Feb. 8, show, where we'll announce the winners at 10 a.m. Be sure to tune in!

Action Movie

- Taken

- X-men Origins: Wolverine

- Law-Abiding Citizen

Scary Movie

- Fourth Kind

- Paranormal Activity

- Orphan

Comedy Movie

- Zombieland

- The Hangover

- I Love You, Man

Break Up Movie

- Obsessed

- I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

- Brothers

Date Movie

- Couples Retreat

- The Proposal

- Blind Side

Sci-Fi Movie

- Terminator

- Star Trek

- Avatar

- Gamer

Gay Movie

- Michael Jackson: THIS IS IT

- Jonas Brothers: 3D Concert Experience

- Bruno

Whipped-bitch Movie of the Year

- New Moon

Epic Failure

- Year One

- Final Destination

- Observe and Report

- Crank: High Voltage

- Adventureland

- Funny People

TMH Movie of the Year

- The Hangover

- Avatar

- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

- Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

- Blind Side

Why Girls Are Evil

This equation explains everything!!!

Monday, January 25, 2010

A Morning Hangover Public Service Announcement

Hello Morning Hangover fans,


How about that ride in?

This is Matt with The Morning Hangover radio show. I’m here to bring you a very important Public Service Announcement.

Each day millions of people are overworked and underpaid. They must work long grueling hours, sometimes running on no more than five hours of sleep.

But nobody is overworked more than spokespersons for major corporations.

The Geicko Gecko. Flo, the Progressive Auto girl. And the bags for Southwest Airlines. These are just a few who are overworked and underpaid.

This is becoming an epidemic. And if we don’t do something fast, these people and things we’ve come to love, will soon be extinct.

Records obtained by The Morning Hangover show that the Geicko Gecko worked up to 20 hour days in 2009, working no less than a 13 hours in a given day. At night he was forced to sleep in a cage with a heat lamp and under a rock with holes and no pillow or blanket, and water that had been standing over a week.

Flo, the Progressive Auto girl, came in a close second behind the Geicko Gecko. Records show she worked up to 18 hours a day and had no less than a 12 hour day. At 4 a.m. each morning she would be forced awake in her 7x7 cell and endure six grueling hours of make-up and hairstyling to turn her into someone she isn’t.

Records also show that Flo was injected with unknown quantities of speed to give her her perky personality.
And all the while the make-up, hairstyling and drugs made her smoking hot, the long-lasting effects could be deadly. And we all know there’s no coming back from death.

And let’s not forget about the poor, mistreated bags used by the evil Southwest Airlines Corporation to promote “bags fly free.” Although, yes, bags may fly free, the treatment the bags receive is brutal and unfair. They are left in the bottom of airplanes where it is cold, cramped, noisy, and they are stacked on top of each other in awkward positions that can have major effects on their health when they become older.

Let’s do our part Morning Hangover fans. Let these greedy corporations know that we will no longer stand for this. When you see this abuse, turn off their ads, don’t buy their products, and let your local congressman know that you will not stand for this anymore!

Together we can make a difference.

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by The Morning Hangover.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a surprise visit to The Morning Hangover

Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a surprise visit to The Morning Hangover radio show on Friday.

Click here to check out what happened.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

What's Conan going to do next?

As many of you know, Conan O'Brien said his final farewells from the Tonight Show last night after only a mere seven months.

Now we Americans are left to wonder what Conan's next move will be.


He did give us a few possibilities before the big corporate execs at NBC kicked him to the curb.

"Introduce myself to my children. Connect all my freckles with a Sharpie. Play Beatles Rock Band until I reach 'Level Yoko.' Make a cameo appearance on Gossip Girl as Blaine Wilcox, a mysterious albino playboy,” he said.

“Legally change my name to 'No-Show Jones.' Finally make good on my plan to backpack through India with The Situation. Return La Bamba to the kindly old carpenter who made him. Have my 'TONIGHT SHOW FOREVER' tattoo changed to 'OH, SHOW OVER?'"

And finally, "Make a big move to Fox. Megan Fox." (Back off, Conan. She’s mine!)


Whatever you end up doing, TMH wishes you the best. You can always come work for us. God knows we could use the comedy.

You’ll have to pass our strict initiation process first, though.

Public Service Announcement

A Public Service Announcement about cougars

Apparently this video is causing a lot of controversy. At The Morning Hangover, we don't see the problem at all quite honestly.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Am I Going to Hell?

Real answers for life's eternal question


SCENARIO

You dated this girl for a few months and began to get a crush on her hot roommate who is also her best friend. The only reason you are staying with the current girl is so you can keep getting to hang with the roommate and grow closer. One drunken night, you ditch the current girl and hook up with the roommate.

Are you going to hell?


WHY YOU ARE GOING TO HELL

Not only did you exploit someone’s feelings to get closer to their fine-ass roommate, but you practically lived a lie, which God deems sinful. Oh, and on top of that, you were on top of this “someone’s” best friend.

I hope that fist full of lust is worth the Devil’s fist up your ass for all eternity.


WHY YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HELL

Nothing is final until the two binding words of, “I do.” You weren’t married to this chick, so why not try to make it with her hotter roommate. So what if they are best friends? You can introduce her to your best friend and everyone is happy.

If you can trade in the current model for an upgrade, than why wouldn’t you? You get tired of the same phone after a year or two (or in this case a couple of months); you trade it in for something better.

Even God has an iPhone, right?


SCENARIO

You and your buddies are out at a party with a bunch of people. The hottest chick there has been talking to your buddy, who hasn’t been laid in a year, and he might actually get some action tonight. The problem is that she has also been eyeing you and giving you the “I’m going to ride you ‘til you die” look. Your buddy leaves to get her a drink for a couple of minutes and she starts talking to you. You tell her that your buddy has the herps and she bails on him, and goes for you. By the end of the night, she is in your bed and your buddy once again passes out alone in the room next to you.

Are you going to hell?


WHY YOU ARE GOING TO HELL

You totally blocked your buddy who has been pint up for a year, and threw him under the bus with your little white lie. Now, not only is he going to bed alone that night but will be going to bed alone the rest of his life, seeing that one chick will tell all of her friends that your buddy is STD’d.

Who knows, maybe the devil will take it easy on you from the giant laugh he got from watching this happen. Then again, he will probably also laugh when he sees your soul engulfed in flames for eons to come.


WHY YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HELL

Everything and everyone is fair game. If your buddy hasn’t been laid in a year, then he should have been like a hunter about to slay a deer; watching his prey the entire hunt and never taking his eyes off the prize even for a second. It’s his fault for leaving her alone, even for a second.

Don’t worry, though, I'm pretty sure Jesus understands. After all, he forgave Judas for betraying him, why not you?

Top-10 ways Tiger Woods can cure his sex addiction

10. Give up all sports that require getting a ball in a hole.

9. Remember: strippers have souls, too.

8. Start reading greens instead of women’s curves when on the golf course.

7. Avoid situations where sex can arise: bars, dark alleys, or being Tiger Woods.

6. Remember: you’re going for Jack Nicklus’ record of 18 majors in a career, not 18 girls in a night.

5. Golf and women aren’t the same, you can’t play 18 holes and still win.

4. Sometimes it’s OK to leave the big stick in your bag.

3. Your wife is hot, have sex with her.

2. Taking par is like masturbating, sometimes it’s OK.

1. Have Nike change their slogan from “Just Do It” to “She Probably has Herpes”

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Check out clips from The Morning Hangover radio show on YouTube

The Morning Hangover is now posting clips from its radio show on YouTube. If you missed the show, or there's a clip you want to replay because it was just that damn funny, check out our YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/user/TMHradio.

Be sure to tune in Friday morning from 9-11 to our next show for our Top-10 ways Tiger Woods can kill his sex addiction.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Monday, January 18, 2010

Recap of the first show

Thank you all who listened in on our first show. It's agreed among all staff members that the show was a HUGE success. If you didn't listen in, not only are you a terrorist and support Al Qaeda, but you can go masterbate to your own tears in a dark corner -- unless you have a valid excuse, of course.

In that case, the show re-airs from 9-11 tonight. If you're still that difficult and can't listen, e-mail us at tmhradio@gmail.com and we'll send you the podcast so you can listen at your pleasure. Because let's face it, the staff at The Morning Hangover is all about you getting your pleasure on your time ;).

Big thanks to Jeremy "The Man" coming out as a guest today. We hope that he'll return for future shows.

Paco, we want to hear back from you, man. We need to know how that Taco Bell drive-thru diet is workin' out for ya so keep us posted.

And big thanks to everyone who listened, e-mailed, called or texted. Tell all your friends about our next show Friday morning 9-11. We have a badass show in store and you won't want to miss out.

And if you'd like to advertise (hint, hint) shoot us an e-mail at tmhradio@gmail.com for a media kit with CHEAP ad prices.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Debut tomorrow

Alright, fans. Tomorrow is the big day we have all been waiting for: The Morning Hangover radio show makes its debut! Don't worry, that warm, fuzzy, creamy feeling that you're getting in your pants is normal. It's OK to be that excited; we all are.

Incase you are have been in a cave the past week, check out the show at www.fishbowlradionetwork.com from 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. for the show. Can't listen to it then? Good news. The show replays from 9 p.m. - 11 p.m. Still not good enough for you? E-mail us at tmhradio@gmail.com and we'll send you the podcast.

Topics include: what song is your guilty pleasure? Am I going to Hell scenarios, how many dates should you wait to have sex? Timeouts vs. old fashion ass whoopins.

Want more? Tune in and start your day right!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Check this out

For a great representation of The Morning Hangover's humor, brought to you by funnyordie.com

Click here

Spread the word about TMH radio

We are just a couple days away from The Morning Hangover's radio debut on Fishbowl Radio Network (www.fishbowlradionetwork.com - find us on the green studio).

Show hosts Matt Keyser and Austin "Woody" Wood have been working hard to get material together to have the show come out running. If you have any topic ideas, questions you would like answered, or any song requests, hit us up at tmhradio@gmail.com. Or find us on Facebook (search: The Morning Hangover online) or Twitter: @MorningHangover.

Don't forget the show airs Mondays and Fridays from 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. and replays from 9 p.m. - 11 p.m. You really don't have an excuse not to listen in. And not only should you have an excuse for not listening, you shouldn't have ANY excuse for not letting everyone and their mom's know about the show's debut.

In fact, just the other day, we were in touch with scientists within the US government, and they actually proved that if you don't listen to the show on a consistent basis, you are a terrorist. Pretty bad, huh? Yeah, thought so. So don't give in to Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden, be for AMERICA! And listen to The Morning Hangover radio show. And if you don't, Obama and American are comin' for ya!

Just wanted to give you fair warning.

Now go let everyone know about the show! RIGHT NOW!

(You haven't gone yet have you? No. You're still here reading this pointless part of the blog supporting terrorist around the world. Don't worry. FBI is on its way.)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Meet your hosts

Meet your hosts of The Morning Hangover radio show debuting Monday, Jan. 18 from 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. at www.fishbowlradionetwork.com

Matt Keyser

Matt Keyser was founded in August 1988. Now, 21 years later, he finds himself living his life as a journalist. When he’s not found trying to become the next Woodward or Bernstein, he can be found at Barnes and Noble, cheering on the Dallas Cowboys, or as the champion on a beer pong table. As co-owner of The Morning Hangover, Matt hopes to change the world, one laugh at a time.


Austin “Woody” Wood

Austin “Woody” Wood is as Texan as they come: a four-year Marine, a gun lover, a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan, not to mention he owns a truck with smoke stacks the size of the Hulk’s biceps. Whatever the case, Woody is a no holds bar, tell it like it is, kinda guy. He considers himself a true beer pong champ and the rebuttal king. And whatever you do, don’t ever, EVER, come between him and his Modern Warfare II.

Be sure to check out our shows Mondays and Fridays from 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. or 9 p.m. - 11 p.m.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Morning Hangover radio show airs Monday!

Hey TMH fans!

The Morning Hangover is officially back and will be better than ever. Not only are we working on getting a brand new Web site up-and-running, but starting Monday, Jan. 18, The Morning Hangover will have a twice-weekly radio show airing Mondays and Fridays from 9 a.m. - 11 a.m.

If you can't catch the live show, it will replay Mondays and Fridays from 9 p.m. - 11 p.m.

Still can't catch the show, or maybe you happened to miss one -- which why would you ever want to miss the greatest show on Internet radio? -- once our new Web site it up, we will have all of our podcasts from all of our shows.

Y'all have a lot to look forward to in the next couple weeks, TMH fans!

Be sure to find us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Morning-Hangover-online/114318116557?ref=ts#/pages/The-Morning-Hangover-online/114318116557?ref=nf

Follow us on Twitter: @TheMorningHangover

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Owners' note:

Starting up your own business is tough -- especially in this economy. If you would like to help The Morning Hangover get past its start-up costs, get our new Web site up-and-running, and help be a successful business, please e-mail us at tmhradio@gmail.com. Any contribution is greatly appreciated.

We thank you,

Matt Keyser and Jonathan Minick
Owners, The Morning Hangover